Ashley Madison; let’s talk about choice.

Ashley Madison. It’s been a hot topic for a while. An extension of our increasing lust to devour car crash reality TV maybe? A symptom of that voyeuristic sadism we have to indulge in others pain, suffering and humiliation?

I’m not going to tsk and tut ,wag my finger or lecture on the evils of adultery, or the wrong of building an entire business model and profiting from people choosing to lie and manipulate their partners/spouses. I don’t agree with the choice to cheat, I’m neither condemning nor condoning the choices that other people make.

But what I will condemn without hesitation, justification or apology is this attitude to blame everyone and everything but your own decisions that lead to you cheating!

Cheating is a behaviour and it’s a choice. It’s not an ‘ooops’ mistake, an accident or something that happens beyond our control. In order to cheat one needs to make a number hundreds maybe even thousands of individual choices. In order to have an account on Ashley Madison users had to decided they wanted what it offers, find the site, create an account, fill in all the information needed, answer questions, upload photos and hit submit. User have to intentionally and actively use the sites search options, read profile, decide if there is an interest and make that initial contact. A connection needs to be established, communication had, chemistry identified, plans made and acted upon. All of these things need to be done/there in order to cheat. All of these things involve individual and deliberate choices.

It is not the wife who makes these choices. It’s not the circumstances at home, the stress of your job, the stagnant sex life you perceive. It is the actions and choices of the individual who decides that cheating is okay, that having sex/a relationship with another will bring something positive, needed and beneficial to their life that makes cheating happen.

So while I will not condemn your cheating, I will judge you as a piss weak looser if you choose to blame your choice to cheat on anyone else but yourself!

Advertisements